Goals

So I was roaming around Sparkpeople.com today getting things set up and reaffirming my goal to lose weight and live a healthier lifestyle. One of the Goals I can set up is called Develop Goal Setting Skills. Among the mini goals within this major goal is keeping a Goal Journal. Now this far into my education of this skill I am assuming that means a place to write down your goals and hold yourself accountable. So I figure why not here. This blog is about positive thinking and changing my life. Setting Goals is all part of that. I am will also repost the weight and health related goals in my diet and fitness journal.
There are so many areas in my life that really need work on. First I really want to feel better about myself in the short term. My self esteem is not at its best right now. I cut my hair short the other day just so I see something different in the mirror. And now I am noticing all the gray hair. So tonight I bought some hair dye. I know I know there are those of you thinking this is all superficial but I really do think it will help me feel younger and better about myself as I look in the mirror. I am also making a goal to clear up my acne and start wearing a little bit of makeup. So to try and write this in a goal format .....
Goal 1: Improve the way I look and feel about myself.
   a. I will dye my hair to cover up all the grey hair.
   b. I will use skin cleanser and clear up my acne.
   c. I will use a little bit of make up to feel pretty.
   d. I will take care of how I look and get dressed everyday.
   e. I will wear clothes that fit me, instead of looking frumpy all the time.
I will work on the above items and do this everyday for a month.

Okay first goal written. I think I have forgotten some elements of goal writing in here, but I will refresh my memory of this skill and learn more as I go.

Burns Depression Checklist score is 69

As part of my work towards positive thinking and turning my life around, I am working on learning how to change my thought processes when it comes to my depression. I am currently reading Dr Burns' book Feeling Good The New Mood Therapy to help me change the thought processes that keep me in my depression. One of the exercises he has you do early on in the book is a checklist to help you become aware of how depressed you are feeling. I found this checklist online and use it as a tool to keep myself aware week to week how I am doing.
When I started taking this test and reading this book my score was 98, I have come a long way.
My Burns Depression Score for Oct 25, based on my feelings for this past week is 69, severe depression.
I have decided to blog my score each week and how things are going for me as I work through the book, not only for myself as an outlet, in a journaling therapy kind of way but also to help encourage anyone else suffering from depression to not just give in to the crippling emotions and know that you can change the way you think and thus the way you feel.

Update

Wow a lot of time has gone by since I last wrote anything here. I really need to try and post on my blogs more often. Especially since this one is supposed to be part of my therapy. Not much new happening in my life right now. I am trying like heck to keep positive. I recently finished a book called The Miracles of Archangel Michael by Doreen Virtue. I have to say this was an excellent book. I found it to be very uplifting and informative of all the ways that Archangel Michael can help you. I find that I have been calling upon angelic help a lot more since reading this book. She also describes a couple of exercises you can do to help cut away or vacuum out  fear, negativity and phobias from your life. The part of the book that I think most interests me at this stage in my life is in the chapter on Help with Career and Life Purpose. I so need this help right now. I have even considered trying to locate a life coach, as I feel my life is a bit of a mess right now and I am trying to find direction and purpose. Right now I feel like a small boat being buffeted about on the waves of life.

At one of lifes many turns in the road.....

I have come to another turn in the road of life. I am out of work, not sure how things are going to pan out for me in the future. I have no vehicle, so job searching is done by foot to the very few business in our little town. I have to admit at first it was hard to handle. Tears, rock in the pit of the stomach, the whole anxiety OMG feeling. After a good nights sleep, time to think, and pull myself together, I am ready for my life to change. What will those changes bring? Of this I am not sure, but life is full of the unknown. I recently learned a mantra in my Mindfulness and Acceptance Workbook for Depression, ACT, which has helped me tremendously during this time. ACT stands for Accept... Choose.... Take Action. I have accepted the changes in my life and the fact i am now unemployed. I have made the choice to put extra effort into our web based store and internet activities as well as check around at the local daycare and see if anyone is hiring. And then on Monday, I will Take action by polishing up my resume, making some phone calls, and applying for some jobs. I will also be calling the landlord, welfare, and CCIS.. who knows maybe ccis will have more kids for me to childcare for.

Life is always going to throw curve balls your way. How you handle those curve balls or turns in the road will make a big difference as to what the outcome will be. My best advice to anyone out there who is struggling, out of work, or facing what seems to be an impossible situation is to keep your head up, stay positive and use ACT.

Anyone struggling with depression, I highly recommend The Mindfulness & Acceptance Workbook for Depression by Strosahl  & Robinson. It is a very helpful and practical book to help you with your depression. I am still working through it, but have found it a big help. I will be writing a full review of it when I am finished working through it for the first time.

Search Amazon.com for  the mindfulness & acceptance workbook for depresion

New Year

Nearing the end of January of 2010, I attended an Esbat tonight. It was a very powerful and thought provoking. As a result, I am looking into a lot of different areas of my life. 2010 will be a year of change for me. A year for the cocoon to break open and let the beautiful person come free of all that holds her back. I will be posting things of gratitude, positive thinking, meditation and stress release tips, ways to improve your thinking and your life. 2010 here I come.....