May Goals

I took the burns checklist for depression today. Ouch, I scored a 74/100 which put me in the severe depression cateogory. Very close to extreme depression. I really need to turn this around and I know that only I can do this. It is up to me to change my thought patterns. So....
Here are some Goals for May!!!
1. Stay in contact with 1 to 2 friends by calling, emailing, or writing at least once a week.
2. Read at least 3 pages a day from Wicca for Beginners and do the excercises as outlined by the coven for the chapters.
3. Reread Feeling Good by David Burns. At least 2 to 3 pages a day!
4. Do at least one execercise out of the Mindfulness & Acceptance Workbook for Depression each week.
5. Keep my house clean by following the flylady system.
6. Go to bed every night by 11pm and get up every morning by 6 am.
7. Start the day with a positive thought before I even get out of bed.
8. Check in on the coven site at least 1 time this month
9. Do something for myself that makes me feel happy, relaxed and good about myself at least once a day.
10. Get out of bed every day with a smile, take a shower, get dressed and know that the day will go well.

Okay.. have some goals set. My DH is letting me use his computer until we can get my computer fixed. I really feel lost without my computer.
My DD is going to take the car to tech and hopefully fix the driver's side window so that it will go back up. I really hope so as it has rained consistently since it broke. I really am tired of getting wet and cold every time I have to drive the car.

Depression is like quicksand

Still seem to be stuck in the quicksand of depression, fear and anxiety. Sometimes it is all I can do to get out of bed and smile. Today seems to be one of those days. I know in my mind I really need to turn this around. So what am I going to do to help myself.
Know that you can do anything you set your mind to. So if you set you mind to being moody you will be moody.I need to set my mind to being happy. Feel happy even if my heart is not in it. Smile even if it is fake. For all practical purposes make everyone around me believe I am happy and having a good day regardless of what I feel inside. And before I know it I should start to feel better.
My mantra today: I am happy.

Trying to find my path

Ever feel like your life is going nowhere? Your stuck in a rut and everything seems so meaningless and out of control. I certainly feel that way right now and have felt this way for awhile now. It is like I am in this dense fog and can't find which way is forward or even up. It seems like fear and anxiety has me rooted in quick sand and I can't seem to move forward in life.
Today I hope to pull myself out of the quick sand and back to solid ground.

Goals

So I was roaming around Sparkpeople.com today getting things set up and reaffirming my goal to lose weight and live a healthier lifestyle. One of the Goals I can set up is called Develop Goal Setting Skills. Among the mini goals within this major goal is keeping a Goal Journal. Now this far into my education of this skill I am assuming that means a place to write down your goals and hold yourself accountable. So I figure why not here. This blog is about positive thinking and changing my life. Setting Goals is all part of that. I am will also repost the weight and health related goals in my diet and fitness journal.
There are so many areas in my life that really need work on. First I really want to feel better about myself in the short term. My self esteem is not at its best right now. I cut my hair short the other day just so I see something different in the mirror. And now I am noticing all the gray hair. So tonight I bought some hair dye. I know I know there are those of you thinking this is all superficial but I really do think it will help me feel younger and better about myself as I look in the mirror. I am also making a goal to clear up my acne and start wearing a little bit of makeup. So to try and write this in a goal format .....
Goal 1: Improve the way I look and feel about myself.
   a. I will dye my hair to cover up all the grey hair.
   b. I will use skin cleanser and clear up my acne.
   c. I will use a little bit of make up to feel pretty.
   d. I will take care of how I look and get dressed everyday.
   e. I will wear clothes that fit me, instead of looking frumpy all the time.
I will work on the above items and do this everyday for a month.

Okay first goal written. I think I have forgotten some elements of goal writing in here, but I will refresh my memory of this skill and learn more as I go.